So I am about to finish the book, “The Baby Whisperer” by Tracy Hogg. She is British and is apparently widely regarded as the Baby Whisperer. Of course reading it has got me questioning everything. Thankfully I have been down this road before and I have decided to consider our circumstances and our life before incorporating baby advice into our life.
She’s anti “attachment parenting” which is apparently, mostly what I do (on accident- turns out a lot of hippie-types do) by virtue of the fact that I wear this little guy. She has this philosophy called EASY (Eat, Activity, Sleep, You) and says that bad habits are really easy to learn. She even gives a check list as to how sleeping problems occur. Aparently, Dave and I are on a run-away train on THAT track. Let Nico fall asleep on us? Check? Rock to sleep? Check. Developing a sleeping problem? WIN! For real, though… Usually by 8 or 9 at night, I am so exhausted that I will do anything short of giving him gin to make him go to sleep quickly and with as little fuss as possible.
There are situations like today, where I tried to go with the EASY method… feed him, lay him in his crib to chillax, hoping that he’ll drift off to sleep. He doesnt. He lays there for a while, I am walking in and out, putting away diapers, blankets, etc. Eventually he gets pissed. So then I move onto another routine- put him in the bumpo chair, the swing, the papasan chair. Set him on my lap as I look at Failblog.org and Facebook. Nope… still pissed. Because I cant just sit around all day hovering over his crib, I bite the bullet, put the baby wrap on, put him in the pouch, go for a walk around the block and the next thing you know, someone is sleeping up a storm.
Of course, I would love to do her EASY method. It sounds so easy and wonderful. But a little unrealistic at this point. Exhibit A: soccer season is still going on. As long as I am taking him down to Wakulla with me, I think its unrealistic to train him out of the sleeping on us habit. Mostly because when I take him to practice, I put him in the pouch or in the Baby Bjorn. That = sleep. Also- guess who is teething? Yeah. For real. Homey is drooling like his name is Richard Droolfess. I shouldnt really be shocked at this… I have three sets of wisdom teeth. Okay, so I am not sure that is relevant, but thought it would be an interesting anecdote.
So now we have a cranktastic baby who doesnt self-soothe, who only sleeps when he is on one of us. Add to that, he doesnt do pacifiers. WHA-WHAT? How is this possible? Yeah, he wont keep them in his mouth. Literally, we have at least 10 pacifiers, none of which he could be the least interested in. The most recent purchases were two teething pacifiers, with flat textured “nipples” that he is supposed to chew on to help relieve some of the pain of teething. At least that one has a bigger handle thing that I can sometimes stick his fingers in to keep it on his hand.
This brings me to my point: the third hardest thing about having a kid (behind the sleep and the only having two arms thing) is that there is so much advice out there on how to deal with various baby problems, that its hard to know what to do. The book “Happiest Baby on the Block” (which was a boon for us) got us in the habit of rocking, swaddling and shushing. Now this “Baby Whisperer” is saying that sets up bad sleep habits by training a baby to be parented to sleep. So I am back to the drawing board of “Doing whatever works for us.” Its good to be back here.
On a completely unrelated note- I have taken to calling Nico “Baby Head”. This comes from what Dave and I call the boys sometimes (Dog Heads) and what I sometimes call Drake in my sleep (Dog Fish Head- a micro brewery), but think it comes originally from Doug and Bob McKenzie, who called their dog Doghead. Coincidentally, “Baby Head” has the same number of syllables as “Spider Pig” (of Simpsons Movie Fame). I think you know where this is going:
“Baby Head, Baby Head, does whatever a Baby Head does.
Does he fly through the air, no, cuz he’s a Baby Head.”
Okay… so now that I have accomplished the ever-important blog for the day and now have 45 minutes left till I have to leave for Leon (game tonight)… this is fantastic! Never mind that I have approximately 10 job applications that need to go out this month. Lets talk about the state of my desk…. not one bare spot. Its covered with all variety of items- thank you notes, ipod accessories, papers, books, pens, cartridges, old bills that need to be shredded, etc. Seriously, what Dave and I need is a stay at home wife. Of course, now might be the time to resurrect talk of starting a commune with some of my friends. I am thinking of a set up where I dont have to work, nor do I have to clean or cook. I was kind of just hoping for a set up where I could hang out with my kid and watch TV all day and do some crafting type things, and someone cooks meals for us, makes the money, pays the bills and does the cleaning. That’s a commune, right? No? FAIL!!