Nico figuring out the door.
Nico hasn’t nursed since Monday afternoon.
I dont know how I feel about this. On one level, I guess its a good thing. If he has, indeed decided to wean himself, then I guess I ought to be like, Woo hoo! But on another level, I guess I thought I would have longer to deal with it. Don’t get me wrong, I never intended to be nursing a toddler Nico. My plan was to go 12 months and be done with it. So it’s a little abrupt for me, that at the age of 8 and half moths- this may be the end. This is even weirder, because I am not sure that this is his decision. Is that the kind of Mom I am going to be? I know I should be all like,”It’s his choice, yada yada yada…” but is it? And if it is, shouldn’t I be supporting it? Like, “Alright kid- good for you… you’re stepping up your game… now if I could just get you to change your own diaper, that would be great.” Are we ready for this next step?
But on another level, it was kind of nice. I will admit it… I am a little bit of an oxytocin junkie. I will own it. I am telling you guys- do you know how much better the world would be if everyone could have a shot of oxytocin in the morning before work and then a bit more at night before you go to bed. I am not even joking… it just chilled me out.
I know that there are people who dont understand it… who never did it, who advocate for not doing it at all. But I am really glad that we did. And in one sense, I worry about it… then in another, when he is thrashing about and I catch a glimpse of that tooth coming in on the top (along with his two on the bottom) I wonder if I should just leave well enough alone.
In any case, all the breastfeeding lit says that a nursing strike can be caused by illness, specifically ear infections. I have an appointment for Nico on Friday to check him out. He has been kind of grumpy lately… prone to fits of absolute.OH.MY.GOD.MY.LIFE.SUCKS.SO.BAD.BUT.I.AM.A.BABY.AND.I.CANT.DO.ANYTHING.ABOUT.IT screaming of late. Plus he has been pulling on his ears more than usual… ear infections are more prevalent in daycare kids and when pollen season is in full swing (as it is now). But he hasn’t been running a fever and he doesnt have anything dripping from his ears. So I doubt that is the cause.
Maybe it’s just time.